Kindred spirits

Found this last night. Was at the Ikea exhibit in Keukenhof earlier this year

Finished watching Underworld:Evolution. All I remember is Kate Beckinsale and blue for some reason :P

Oh I had a brie cheese sandwich for dinner. Here's hoping experiment #3 will be ace. Experiment #2 was kind of a dud, since I couldn't sleep a blink that night.

Well in process of sorting out my personal life and work life. I came to the realisation that I cannot do everything for everybody, but I can get people together and enpower them to make their work lives better.

Personal life is not bad...visiting haze and clsa and all their friends really invigorated me. I've also kept touch with someone that I met at their party named Helen, so far so good. I'm also sorting out my house situation, hopefully I will be able to move to my new place and save a bit of rent as well in April. The washer is still broken, and I'm still washing my clothes by hand, but meh it's actually cleaner to do it manually and it's a nice workout lol.

I'm heading back to LA, as many of you know. The sad part is I won't be able to visit my kids when I'm back this time, because they will be busy with their mom. I am looking forward to paying my taxes(yey!!) and hanging out with family and friends.

I'm going to be back in Los Angeles on the 23rd to the 27th of March. Let me know if anyone would like to meet up and hangout :)

Friday

Went down to our sister company about an hour north of London on Friday. When I agreed to head down, I had forgotten that I had a flight to Amsterdam later that night...doh!! Luckily we made it back in time, and I went on my way to visit Haze and Clsa!

Got to Amsterdam and to the hotel around 10:30pm. I had bought a TomTom that morning and it saved me a lot of headache going down to Leamington Spa, and also saved me going from Schipol Airport to my hotel, the Mercure. Overall, I'm quite happy with the TomTom navigation :)

Saturday

I didn't get a chance to get cash on Friday, so I asked the hotel receptionist where's the best place to go to get currency. She said the airport...(doh!) so I made an early start to drive back to Schipol to get currency. I ended up just going to an ATM and got cash that way...sigh could of just done that anywhere lol. Well I had nothing else planned and since it was the 3rd time driving a manual shift car, I decided I didn't want to brave driving around Amsterdam trying to relearn how to drive one >_>; So I drove down to where Haze and clsa lived, which is about 40 minutes away from the Airport.

Got there around 10ish, walked around and explored abit. I really like the numerous bike paths and the amount of people that bike around. It's got a nice feel to the area. I took some pics but they were a bit uninspiring. This is because I was practising for work and gathering reference, which really means everything had to be straight on, with minimal perspective distortion.

Meeting the Haze, clsa, and everyone was really cool. It was a fun day hanging out with them. Will have to defintely go back there soon. Was surreal watching american cartoons in Netherland speak. Also cool was hanging out and watching Shaun of the Dead lol. Drove back to the hotel and collapsed. I didn't realize how stressful it was navigating around and being mindful of driving manual shift was, I was quite knackered. But it had been a tough week at work as well, and just needed to get some rest.

Sunday

Flying back sunday was good. It was rough and windy flying back into Manchester. It was colder than being in Amsterdam, and I spent the day doing laundry and oh...I bought a PS2 and FFXII. Sooo played that until late, got to level 7 and got mauled by a giant Dog, so quite a fun evening haha.

Going to sort out the place I'm moving to this week. Then I'm going to restore my POL account and get back into FFXI me thinks. It would be fun to hang out with Shaggy and Dun again ^_^/

That's it for now, will update with some pics soon

Lots of things goin on, but decided I need to travel to a host of different places to get a perspective on things. I painted a new portrait last night, and it can be seen here:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50901752/

Comments are ofcourse, always welcome =^.^=

Getting really tired, but trying to keep positive. There's a load of work, which all require my attention. I'm on everyone's shit list at work at the moment, because I'm like the teacher that's putting red marks on everyone's work. To top that off, I volunteered to help my boss plan the space moves for one of our buildings and oh boy that's been a challenge. Why are so many people obsessed with space. The funny part is that in an effort to make everyone happy, I've planned myself and the creative director of the company out of a permanent office space lol. Meh I think it's cool not to be tied to an office personally, but we'll see how it goes.

As far as work goes, the results are really starting to shine. The concept department has really raised it's quality level by quite a bit and I hope everyone is happy and proud about their work output. Now to sort out the rest of the depts... ._.

Oh one last thing. My close friend decided to leave the company this week. He's going to our competitors down the road. I sincerely hope he finds happiness there. From talking to friends there, it's the same there but he will not have any backing from me to help him. Truth is he thinks he knows how the world operates and he was sort of the hero/martyr at our previous job. He really has no concept of what harsh reality means so it'll be a good learning experience for him. I'm happy because I can just be a friend and just nod when he complains about work now...haha yes I'm evil.

Life's been extremely busy. Mostly work life. Back to my old habits of escaping reality by playing rpgs. Pretty much solved all the main questlines for Oblivion. Spent about 30 minutes on Saturday nite deleting all the save games from Oblivion so I won't feel tempted to play again.

It's really frustrating when my mind won't switch off and I just lay there at night thinking about work. Maybe it's because there's no one else in my personal life so it's kind of a void at the moment. Dunno, I'm going to try and get more bandwidth by doing more paintings to distract myself and also start bringing some work stuff home. What worked well in the past is finishing a task, at least it puts my mind at ease rather than having to worry about doing it in the morning.

Went to Wales this weekend with some friends. Went hiking on one of the mountains there. Halfway up, my body decided to tell me I'm really out of shape for this climb, but meh we plodded on anyway. I'm really sore today but it feels good.

It's been a tough couple of weeks. Had my review at work, all is well. However, been working really long hours to get everything organized. Personal life is a mess, need to find a new place to live, but can't move until I get my passport back. I've decided the get some distance between me and one of my friends that I've met here. That's quite tough since I only have a couple of friends to begin with lol. But meh it's for the best, just gonna have to make a few more friends.

Felt like trying painting in colour in photoshop. So I did :P

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48385425/

Comments are ofcourse welcome /bow

In other news, work is picking up. I've enpowered people to take charge on various projects, now it's time for me to let go of the day to day stuff and concentrate on the overall-ness of it all.

My friend is not doing so hot at our workplace, he's feeling miserable that he can't find structure in our workplace because things are always shifting around. It's a bit of a sink or swim type environment but I've been trying to help him find his way here, with very little success. So that is the current dilemma at this point.

The other bit of news is that because I've submitted my passport in for visa renewal, I will miss my older boy Nick's birthday and Chinese New Year back at home.

Between these things and every now and then feelings of being alone and guilt for being so far away from my kids really do my head in.

I supposed that's the reason why I've been trying to find things to occupy my time at home. Perhaps it's the curse of being an artist, a lil isolation and depression fuels the creative juice I suppose....-nah :)

Well it's Friday. Finished another portrait. This one of Brad. I seem to be obsessed with painting famous people, just because it's a challenge for me to get a likeness across. Since they are clearly recognizable icons, any subtle deviation here and there will ruin their distinguishing features.

http://merlore.deviantart.com/gallery

Today is one of those odd days. You ever have one of those days where you seem to be beside yourself, detached - looking at yourself and your actions, the words you evoke in meetings; to realize that perhaps none of it really matters. It was a good day, got loads done, gave lots of feedback and steered both projects in a very positive direction. Yet something is missing. Perhaps it's the lonliness of it all that's finally set in. It's utterly crazy to feel alone while there are 15 people working around you, to feel alone while stuck in traffic, to feel alone while you are busily involved in a meeting and contributing great ideas. Or is it?

I went to a friend's house for dinner last night. Him and his GF got into a major fight while me and my buddy were there and it was a bit uncomfortable. Thinking about it then, I realized that my life is a bit hectic to support any type of serious relationship. I work 10-12 hours a day, then I come home and I paint for 4-5 hours after. So how in the world would someone like myself be able to function in a normal relationship? Guess this is why I'm alone lol.

My life is mixed between moments of sheer clarity and utter moments of dark cloudiness. Not gonna worry for now and just live and enjoy the moment.

did some more paintings, they can be seen here:

http://merlore.deviantart.com

Back in UK now. It was really great seeing family and friends. Vegas was a blast. Went to see Mystere and walked around a fair bit along the strip. Met some cool people on the trip. Some ex-coworkers from Sony, a cool check-in person that gave me a free room upgrade, a really awesome waiter that got my order exactly right, a nice pit boss and dealer who gave me tips on blackjack and allowed me to win my money back, a new york cabbie in the middle of vegas, and this really nice lady sat next to me on the way back to manchester and talking with her made the trip back super fast.

Work is going good. Full steam ahead on all fronts. ;)

Returning back to Los Angeles has been great. It's nice to know there there are a few constants in life, one of them being the traffic nightmare that make up the culture of LA.

Had loads of Chinese food and Japanese food this weekend. Last Friday, I went out with Dave and Ms. Lee, who where really close friends from my last job in the states, whom I had lost contact with back last April. Dave is up for his second annie nomination, which I'm extremely happy for him. Ms Lee got herself married to one of my good friends, whom they had been seeing each other for ages. And she got married for all the right reasons, medical benefits and a work visa lol!

Returning to Culver City to meet them was like returning to the scene of a crime. Kinda hard to explain, I found myself in familiar surroundings. Yet this sense of deja vu plus an unsettling sense of time passing left me in a strange and surreal like state. Then came the warm sake and the really cute japanese hostesses that quickly made the sensation go away. We then stopped by an old hangout right next to work and we were greeted by a few people I used to work with. Wow it was surreal, meeting people that you used to work with, they had stopped progressing when you had left, and upon return you have the realization that you have changed. Travelling and changing your surrounding has that effect I suppose, but never has it been so apparent as it was last Friday.

Saturday and Sunday was spent with my two sons. They are getting quite big, and it's nice to see that they missed me as much as I missed them. I was afraid that there would be a moment where they would feel unfamiliar to me, but there weren't any, and I'm glad. There's a strange and strong bond that exists between siblings and also between parents and their kids. For me, the hardest part to is not be with them at all times. Absence and the guilt resulting from it really kills me at nights. I took them to ride the trains from Pasadena to Universal Studios and it was quite fun. I can't wait to return and see them again.

And that leaves today. I'm packed and ready to go. I'm squeezing in a day in vegas. For me, it's like a big reset switch, going to a place that no one knows who you are. You can really just chill and experience a new environment...then back to work work work...hopefully recharged :P

I found myself at work, but the surroundings feel like a school.
I left work for home, and I was walking along with Alex, a coworker who is just starting his career. We were walking amidst this grassy field with rolling hills. There were people all over the place, all walking or running. There were these vehicles in the air, they were a mix between hovercrafts and festival balloons and helicopters. These vehicles were flying low and every now and then we would have to duck as a reaction to how low they got to us. We were talking about general stuff, then out of the blue he goes, "you know Rachel is a great girl, if she wasn't seeing someone I would of definitely asked her out". I ofcourse just smiled and kept walking. We finally reach our destination, which resembled a huge shopping complex with lifts to parking and stores. There were people all over, and ofcourse Rachel. We bumped into her, well I did, literally as she was coming out of one of the stores. We exchanged some verbal banter, the usual verbal teases and funny exposition that I do with people I like, and went out separate ways. Alex left for home and I walked from corridor to corridor. Everywhere I went, I seem to bump into her. The strangest thing is that Rachel wasn't Rachel, it was someone else, but my mind had associated this person with Rachel at work.

Been busy at work lately. Got three projects in the works and making sure that we're delivering a consistent level of quality on all the concept art. Also prototyping two of the projects in 3D and testing out gameplay on PS3. We've presented the projects to the rest of teams and everyone seems very excited about them. It's a good indication that things are going well. My analogy would be like a comedian who tells his routine to everyone he meets. If he gets a consistent response, then he knows the material is good...at least that's what I tell meself anyway ;)

I'm also trying something different. Although I'm technically leading the entire art team for the company, I've signed myself up as the creative lead for two of the projects. Also, I told two of the creative leads and the teams that the roles are meant to serve as a point of information and for admin purposes. The creative department exists as a symbol or entity that serves to generate the visual look across all projects. Which is the way it should be anyway. The response has been quite positive so far, which is great.

On a side note, I'm taking a brief break to visit family and friends back in Los Angeles. So I'm on a plane tomorrow. On the way back I'm stopping in Vegas Monday the 22nd and staying at the Bellagio for a nite. I'm quite excited since I've never stayed there. Hopefully I can get some great snaps between the two cities. ;)

came across this technique:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pilou/sets/72157594413576988/

Here's some pics to compare ( click here )

Came across this photo, she is great!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kuro_rakko/

Went out on the track for drift racing on Saturday. It's the first time I have been in a car while it's drifting around the track. I must admit it's quite fun. It was wet and cold and drizzling for most of it, so it made the track extra slippery. But meh the photos really tell the tale so if you're curious, follow the ( link )

Happy Bday to my red-headed Muse ;)